Day: 2 October 2020

The lead up to World Mental Health Day (October 10) is as good a time as any to reinforce our mental wellbeing. That in mind, let’s reflect on the nature of disappointment and managing expectations…

So often, we can find ourselves disappointed: by people, places, situations, results… it’s a horrible feeling in your gut: that sense of being let down, having wasted time or energy; that vaguely empty feeling, tinged with hurt.

It might be interesting to ask ourselves WHY we are disappointed. Perhaps we had expected a certain behaviour or reaction from someone. Perhaps we had an image in our minds of how a person or place would be. Perhaps we had played out a situation in our mind, ahead of time. Perhaps we had anticipated certain results on the back of certain behaviours or input…

Perhaps, you have identified a running theme by now? 🤔

Disappointment happens as a result of our expectations not being met. Therefore, if we can manage our expectations, in theory we should minimise our disappointment.
As social creatures, disappointment in each other tends to affect us deeply. People tend to see reflections of themselves in others.

Example: If I value good timekeeping and feel it is disrespectful to be late, I will likely apply my ‘code of conduct’ to others, setting me up with expectations. So when someone arrives late, I feel disrespected and disappointed. But perhaps that person values something else: maybe they feel making an effort with their appearance is a sign of respect. So, while I am on time (showing my respect) but dressed any way at all, they are late but well turned out (showing their respect). So here we both are, disappointed and confused by the reception we are getting from one another.

My Mental Wellbeing Tip of The Day: Next time you find yourself disappointed, apply the expectation filter: “Am I applying MY rules to this situation?”

It isn’t foolproof: sometimes we are reasonably disappointed. But sometimes, just sometimes, we set ourselves up.

Contact Sage Counsel: 086-8539718 sagecounsel@outlook.com

In the lead up to World Mental Health Day (October 10th), you might be wondering what is the simplest step you can take to increase your mental wellbeing?
While there is no definitive answer, Self Care must surely be among the power players.

But what is Self Care?
It can take many forms: a long, hot bath; time with loved ones; an hour with a good book; an early night or a lie-in; a massage; a date night; eating well… the list is endless. But the concept behind them all is the very same: Self Care is when you consciously take time out for yourself and give time to something that gives you joy, fulfilment, inner peace…

Self Care is what recharges our batteries. It happens when we put some of our time, thought and energy into OURSELVES.

In generations past, Self Care was often considered a luxury, navel-gazing, spoiling yourself… usually commented upon with a negative tone…

But what makes that right? Times change and we learn more and more about what makes us tick; what helps us to keep going… Self Care is NOT a luxury, but a necessity.
How can it be wrong to look inward and seek to understand yourself better? How can it be wrong to care for the only body and mind you will get in this lifetime? How can it be wrong to reward yourself for a job well done or a day survived?

We are always improving and developing on the teachings of our forefathers… there is no shame in moving on from outdated thoughts and caring for yourself to the best of your ability.

Tomorrow is a new day… how will you care for yourself?

Contact Sage Counsel: 086-8539718 sagecounsel@outlook.com