Tomorrow is World Mental Health Day, so this is the penultimate tip of this series.
The statement “It’s not all about YOU!” has a negative feel to it. It somehow suggests that we were assuming we were the centre of the world; that we are SO important that anything and everything, even if it has nothing to do with us, in fact, does… somehow. And we ARE important… we are so important in our OWN story, that it would not continue without us; everything relates to us; everything impacts us.
What we sometimes fail to recognise is that we are not key players in everyone’s stories… a select few, yes, but not everyone.
So while the statement “It’s not all about YOU!” can make us feel unimportant, it is merely a fact check; a reminder.
FACT: It is not all about you.
Interestingly, if viewed in a less emotional way, this statement has the power to free us.
I am not so essential in the lives of people in my extended circles, that I am the only one who can help improve their situation. I am simply not that important in their stories. I am neither a game changer nor a deal-breaker. I am one of many. This knowledge allows me to say “No”. It allows me to prioritise the people who’s lives I truly impact and who rightly impact mine. It allows me to reserve my energy and other resources for the essential key players in my life.
It frees me to be unconcerned with what others may think of me, because if it’s not all about me, then it’s not all about them either!! Their opinion neither makes nor breaks me because they are not essential in my life.
The statement “It’s not all about you” is a very close relative of “Not my circus. Not my monkeys.” It allows me to steer clear of drama that doesn’t involve me. It allows me to remain outside of someone else’s chaos. It allows me to listen, think “hmmm, that’s interesting”, and walk away without increasing the weight of the baggage I carry (See yesterday’s Tip 8: Let It Go!).
It means that if I am having a horribly anxious day and am really struggling to be out and about, I can continually remind myself that “It’s not all about me.”… and hopefully, I will quickly realise that everyone else is wrapped up in their own world, as I am in mine… each of us trying to manage our own demons. No one is staring. (If they ARE, do they matter to me?). No one knows what is going on with me at this moment and are probably too preoccupied with their own stuff to even wonder. So, with no focus on me whatsoever, I am free to continue on with my day.
So on days when you feel like we are being pulled in every imaginable direction, remember: It’s not all about you. Review the strings that are pulling you. Prioritise them. And cut the ones for which you are not absolutely essential. They will manage perfectly well and you can be present for those who mean the most to you – starting with yourself 🧡
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