If you are a person who experiences depression quite regularly, it might be fair to say that you are ‘vulnerable to depression’. I imagine that even when you are not feeling particularly low, you might worry about when it might catch you again. So even when you are free from depression, you are never really free. It is simply a holding pattern of sorts.
But I believe you can be free; totally free. What I would like to work on with you today is building your resilience against depression. If you were to imagine depression as a rainstorm of arrows, hailing on you from the skies, then resilience would be an impenetrable layer of armour, like a pod protecting your entire self from danger… Can you picture how comforting it would be to have that kind of protection?
Resilience might seem a bit abstract: build resilience… how can it be that simple? If it was, surely everyone would do it. Oddly enough, it is quite simple but it does require you to make some changes. The fact that you are sitting here, reading this article, suggests a willingness to try. Your curiosity about a brighter future shows a lot of courage and strength, particularly given how difficult depression can make it to engage in anything at all, or sometimes to even feel worthy of saving. But somewhere in you is a flicker of fight; a belief that a better way of life is possible. So I hope you can stick with me while we work towards that. My only request is that you try to park any scepticism and doubt, and just give this a go, even if it seems ridiculously simple.
So, what is resilience? I’ve described it as an armour of sorts, but it is more than that. It’s not surface armour, but a strength or resistance that goes soul-deep… a bit like your immune system: if it is strengthened, supported and cared for it can protect you from almost anything. But if your immune system or resilience is left underdeveloped, you are wide open to all sorts of attack. So if you can think of the tools I will be describing as vitamins for your soul… take them daily to boost your resilience and strengthen your resistance to depression and a whole host of other mental and emotional challenges.
I’m sure you’ve heard of mindfulness before now, and if you’re like myself and most people I know, maybe your initial reaction is to roll your eyes. Mindfulness has a hippy-dippy, airy-fairy image but actually it’s a whole lot more practical and ‘real’ than you might think… in fact it is backed strongly by medical science as a proven way to tackle mental health issues and physical illness. This is the bit where I ask you to put scepticism aside and give this a chance! Mindfulness is typically associated with meditation of some sort, and although this is true its scope goes far beyond just meditation. So if sitting quietly, contemplating the universe isn’t your bag, don’t worry. There are many ways to skin a cat! The aim of mindfulness is to experience the present moment as fully as possible. So often, our mind is assaulted by a million busy thoughts and external pressures. The idea here is to try to stay in the present moment.
Set aside 5minutes. Find a quiet space where you will be undisturbed. Sit comfortably. Close your eyes if you like… or not. Allow your body to relax and the full weight of you to be supported by the chair. Just breathe for now. Thoughts will come: ghosts of the past, pressures of the present and concerns about the future. I would like you to imagine each thought is beckoning you from the window of a slowly passing train… you do not need to hop on board and be consumed by the thought. You can stay on the platform, wave at it and allow it to pass you by for now. The next thought will come. Just do the very same: acknowledge it and allow it to pass. Stay on the platform, in the present moment. Sometimes it can be helpful to focus on your breathing – notice the air going in and our of your nose or mouth. Wave at the thoughts and allow them pass. Notice the taste of the air…The warmth or coolness of it. Wave at the thoughts and allow them pass. Notice the rise and fall of your ribcage or belly. Wave at the thoughts and allow them pass… Thoughts will keep coming, as trains always do. But right in this moment, you have nowhere to go. Five minutes of being… just being… and waving the thoughts as they pass you by looking for your attention.
This exercise needs only five minutes of your day, every day. I appreciate how challenging it can be to find 5 peaceful minutes to yourself. But there are 1440minutes in a day… you only need 5 of them to build resilience;, to take your vitamins for the soul. The alternative is days spent in bed, unable to function. It’s an essential investment in yourself. The first piece of homework I would like you to commit to, is practicing this five minute exercise every day.
There are many more building blocks to put in your toolkit, and we will look at some of those in the next article. But I appreciate how overwhelming these first steps can be, particularly when depression has exhausted your reserves, so I think it’s important for you to be patient and gentle with yourself right now, and to be very proud that you have taken this monumental step towards a brighter future.
Until next time…
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